The vicious three headed dog of EDS, POTS & Chronic Pain

I'm writing this post as part of Ehlers Danlos Syndrome Awareness Month, with which both Son2 and myself have recently been diagnosed, along with Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (POTS) and Chronic Pain.

It's a fearsome triumvirate rolled into one, like Cerberus, the three-headed mythological dog that guards the entrance to Hades.

I'd like to write something positive about it but there isn't anything, as far as I can see.
In the last six months- in fact, I can now see it was building up for months before that- I have gone from being busy, capable and productive to feeling like a hollowed-out wreck.

I can no longer work a job as my health is too unpredicatable. I have to use a wheelchair to go further than a few yards, which embarrasses my kids, the rest of the time I need a stick to lean on. The simplest tasks use as much energy as a mountainous trek.

Not that I've ever been on a mountainous trek - I now know that I've always had EDS at a low level, undiagnosed, but I thought being low-energy, often dizzy and in a certain amount of pain was pretty normal.

Weak ankles? Slipped Disc and chronic back pain? Painful adhesions? Sore joints? Didn't everyone get this type of thing? You just had to keep going, didn't you, using whatever made you feel better. Which, in my case, is a glass of hot whisky. Sometimes two.

I'm a lifelong gym abandoner. I love the idea, but ten minutes in I'd get dizzy and nauseous so I'd eventually stop going. Now I know this is part of Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome, a feature of EDS.

Still I got this far. 46 in a couple of weeks or so. 6th of the 6th (no surprise there, many will say). Married to a very, very understanding man. Had two kids, both, as you know, with Asperger's. I almost certainly have that too. There is some anecdotal evidence the two have some links.

Keep going. Don't give up. Move forward. One day at a time. It's how I was brought up, to just get on with it.

Six months ago, it all blew up in my face. Doing too much, an over-reliance on adrenaline to get through the day, gradually feeling like things were spinning out of my control. Trying to keep on top of everything. I wrote a post here about the Tumble Drier breaking and it being the final straw. I didn't know then how true that was and how that was just the start of my life crumbling catastrophically before everyone's eyes.

I didn't realise back in 2009, just how apt the title of this blog about a life 'Not As Advertised' would become.

I've tried to make adaptations. Put a brave face on it. Laugh at myself so people don't pity me or feel uncomfortable. Pace myself (ha!).

I did a few things last week: Spoke on an SEN panel, hobbled through parents' evening having to explain over and over why I need a stick. Actually I needed a wheelchair, but the venue was on two levels and I was too embarrassed to get it out. I knew it would be a hassle for everyone, so I made do with the stick. Went for dinner with the family on Saturday night, was quite cheerful.

Paid for all that by spending the last three days in bed on Tramadol. Which is usually followed by throwing up, but a period of no pain is worth one session of vomiting.

Everything I try to do takes at least double the time. Talking to people, whether on the phone, online or in person is exhausting, because I put too much into it. It's not the kind of thing you can pace, talking. So I avoid the phone. I avoid people. I prefer to message or email.

I open up my laptop and see many, many unanswered emails. Feel tired all over again. Decide to pace myself by shutting the laptop again.

I can still do some things easily: enjoy listening to music (what a life-saver Spotify is for me to find new things to listen to instead of getting stuck in a middle-aged rut. It's not overly social though as most of my friends aren't on it!).

I still write, though less, and I can still read, though for shorter periods.

I can do some things with help: Cook and do some things in the house (see this post)

Now I've got a disability parking badge, I can go to occasional SEN meetings more easily. But the fact that I had to apply for one in 2013 when in 2012 I was "flying" is almost incomprehensible.

I still have my boys and my husband. There are no words to describe how wonderful my husband has been and how bad I feel for being so useless in return.

I have a few friends and even fewer family members who manage to be supportive without being pitying, which I would hate. Those few people (who should know who they are) manage it perfectly. I'm sure they feel bad for me, but they don't treat me as a sad case and they allow me to feel I still have something to give to them too. This is important to me.

My kids, well who knows? Son1 has made no allowances. He doesn't like change and so is ignoring that anything has changed.

Son2 also has EDS and POTS and, like me, is still going through testing/treatment. He was diagnosed first although I knew I had similar symptoms. It was only when they blew up in my face that I was forced to do acknowledge that this wasn't normal, actually.
He needs me to protect his interests and make sure he gets everything he needs. Ah, I still have a purpose, a reason not to give up.

But living for myself? That involves finding 'new ways forward', I have been advised.
I'm an old dog; not sure new tricks are my thing. Is the alternative worse? For others around me, yes. Not for me. For now, that will have to be enough.

Some useful links:
Join the RareConnect EDS Community
Join EDS-UK
Join The Hypermobility Association

Not so silent Sunday

Some tunes I like for a sunny Sunday...

Find this playlist

Flipping fantastic, wheely great - gadgets to keep yourself going

So recently, I have found myself rather incapacitated and standing for longer than a few minutes is proving difficult.
It seems that while I was working in the sphere of one particular rare disease, another kind, EDS, that I have unknowingly had all my life, undiagnosed, was about to knock me to the ground and wipe the floor with me.
I was fortunate for a while that my husband had a gap between contracts and took over the washing, driving the kids about and doing the cooking while I spent large parts of the day asleep and generally being useless. I haven't been to the shops since November and am not likely to for the forseeable future. Thank goodness for online groceries and home delivery!
Eventually, my husband started his new job and I am now having to find ways to get about and do things like cook etc.
Being a solution-focused person, I sought out some mobility aids and this, demonstrated using Twitter Vine, is what I found. I thought I'd share them in case you or someone you know might find them useful.
First the seat flip-stick, a helping hand for standing longer.

Secondly, the saddle seat on wheels, height adjustable, so that I can do things at the counter-top and so on. Obviously, getting someone else to do it for you is preferable but not always possible.


The stool on wheels is a particular hit with the kids - now we need another to have races down the hallway...

My Daughter's Trial - a compelling play by my friend Gulshanah

Rehearsals are now underway for My Daughter’s Trial, written by my friend, Gulshanah Choudhuri, an SEN Barrister and the mother of a daughter with Down's Syndrome.

The play, described as compelling and fast moving, features Parveen, an ambitious young Muslim barrister who faces her own trial when she must decide whether to section her mentally ill mother against her family’s wishes.

As Parveen juggles her professional and personal responsibilities, the action switches rapidly from courtroom battle to domestic turmoil, made even more complicated when her opponent in court turns out to be the love of her life.

Witness the actions of both the defendant and Parveen, and judge for yourself who is really on trial

The play is being staged in the atmospheric former Westminster County Court, hidden away in Covent Garden. 

Parveen is played by Goldy Notay.  Goldy is best known for playing the lead in Gurinder Chadha’s It’s a Wonderful Afterlife, Basimah in Sex and the City 2, and opposite Martin Clunes in the ITV series The Town.  She recently starred in Beloved, Produced by Len Loach, which was the closing night film at Cannes. She is a well-known face on TV from regular appearances in Holby City and Doctors

Capacity is limited so don’t leave it too late.  Put it in your diary and book your tickets now.

April 8-11, 15-18, 22-25  7.30pm
Brown’s Courtroom
Above Brown's Restaurant
82 St Martin’s Lane
London WC2N 4AG
Book tickets via
Soho Theatre Box Office  020 7478 0100
Or via www.sohotheatre.com

Gulshanah's website is at http://senbarristers.co.uk

Silent Sunday: Buona Pasqua!

Raising awareness of Ehlers Danlos Syndrome - an under diagnosed rare condition

Lara Bloom, who runs the Ehlers Danlos UK Support charity, is making a documentary about EDS to help raise awareness of what is a rare but also an under-diagnosed condition.
Ehlers Danlos is a connective tissue disorder that Son2 has. He regularly has dizzy spells, joint pains and extreme fatigue.

Here's a trailer for the documentary.

You can visit the charity's website here

It's just the way I roll...toilet roll

I'm with the over-the-top camp. What about you?

Over or Under: The Great Toilet Paper Debate infographic by bobbybernethy.

Rare Disease Day: Discovering the great work of small charities

Son1 snaps the rest of the Tirraoros

We've just been to the Rare Disease Day event at gothic looking Royal Holloway University in Surrey. 

The boys were given the day off school and we headed out en famille, including Mr T (no, not that one).

We first took part in a discussion led by the Genes for Jeans/ Genetic Disorders charity about living with rare diseases such as neurofibromatosis and Huntingdon's Disease. There were a number of GCSE students there, including my boys, who were asked to ponder the question of whether they would undergo genetic testing if a positive result meant that they would discover that at the age of around 30, they would succumb to a devastating illness and early death.

Most decided they would rather not know, but that if they did they would try to live their life to the fullest. In fact statistics show that only 10% of those with a high genetic probability of Huntingdon's choose to be tested at age 18.

Son2 with Lara from EDS-UK

In the large picture gallery, rare disease charities had exhibition stands set up from Shine charity (Hydrocephalus/Spina Bifida), Tuberous Sclerosis, AKU, Myasthenia Gravis and Ehlers Danlos Syndrome among others and there were hands-on activities for learning about DNA and the genetics behind rare diseases.

We were especially interested in the EDS stand as Son2 is affected by this and I have also just been referred to the same specialist. Son2 was delighted to get an EDS lapel badge and pose for a photo with Lara from Ehlers Danlos Support UK.

I had a really interesting discussion with the team from the Alkaptonuria Society and the important research work that's being carried out to try to find a cure. The condition can cause severe pain, osteoarthritis and heart disease.

One really surprising discovery was that after almost 20 years, the message that Folic Acid can prevent spina bifida is still not common knowledge among women planning a baby. This is, apparently, because the main campaign was around the time when I was having my babies who are now 15 and 13, but awareness has faded. Another fact is that it is now known that women need to be taking Folic Acid three months BEFORE they become pregnant for prevention - it's too late once the mother to be is already pregnant. The Shine charity is trying to change this lack of knowledge.

The thing about rare diseases is that millions of people have them but there are many, many different conditions and the vast majority suffer from lack of investment in research and medicines.

• 1 in 17 people will be affected by a rare disease at some point in their life. 
• This amounts to approximately 3.5 million people in the UK. 
• 75% of rare diseases affect children and 30% of rare disease patients will die before their 5th birthday. There are over 6,000 recognised rare diseases. 

There are a number of people in my life who have various kinds of rare diseases. The youngest, my nephew Dylan, is just 4 years old.

There are also many wonderful people working to help people affected by rare diseases in the form of volunteers, charity workers for specific rare conditions, researchers, scientists and people working for rare disease organisations such as EURORDIS, Rare Disease UK and NORD.

There is much work being done and it's to be hoped that world-wide events like Rare Disease Day will help to raise awareness and bring in investment to help improve or save the lives of those affected by little-known conditions.

If you're looking for support for a rare disease, check out RareConnect, a multi-lingual forum that has more than 30 rare disease communities - maybe your condition is one of them. If not, why not start one?

Chemo for little Dylan's Nephrotic Syndrome

I wrote a while ago about my nephew, Dylan and his fight against Nephrotic Syndrome, a rare disease that affects his kidneys.

Next week, Dylan, who is four, is starting chemo.

His mum, Sam, will be giving an update about NS, Dylan's treatment and how it affects his education on my Special Needs Jungle site as part of a series of articles in the run up to Rare Disease Day.

In the meanwhile, this is an article in the Flintshire Chronicle about him.

***

A BRAVE little boy battling a rare disease that causes his immune system to attack his kidneys is preparing to have chemotherapy.
 Four-year-old Dylan Davies-Abbott, who was diagnosed with Nephrotic Syndrome a year ago, will undergo the eight-week treatment from February 4 with the aim of limiting the number of attacks he has.

 His mum Sam admitted it was a “difficult decision” to go down the chemotherapy route as there is a small risk of Dylan becoming infertile. But having had several relapses at the end of last year, Dylan has now been classified as “steroid dependent”, which is the medication used to treat his condition. Steroid use can have damaging long-term effects on his bones and growth, and could also result in him becoming vitamin B deficient.

Nephrotic Syndrome, which is most common among boys aged two to six, affects about 10,000 people in the UK. When the immune system attacks the kidneys, it damages them and causes large amounts of protein to go from the blood into the urine.

 When this happens, it can cause Dylan to become swollen and very tired, as well as causing scarring to his kidneys which could one day lead to him requiring a transplant.
Sam, from Holywell, North Wales, said: “The ideal scenario with the chemotherapy is that we would get a long period of remission without medication and to get Dylan off the steroids.
 “When he has a relapse he does respond to the steroids within five or six days. “We’re grateful that it works but it’s not a long term solution.”
 She added: “We don’t know if the chemotherapy will work but it’s a better option as it’s a short-term intervention.
 “It’s been a difficult decision. Potentially it could have big effects on him.
“There is a very small risk of him becoming infertile.
 “I know the risk is small but it’s still a risk. It’s impossible to say if the chemotherapy will work, it’s very much trial and error.”

 Sam had taken Dylan to hospital in January last year with a suspected sickness bug – what she wasn't expecting to hear was that her son actually had a rare illness and that he may need a kidney transplant in the future.
“They don’t know what causes it and we don’t know why it was triggered in Dylan because he had no underlying health problems”, she said. “It came as quite a shock to us.
 “The worst case scenario is that he could at some point need a kidney transplant but that wouldn’t cure him long term because the problem isn’t with his kidneys.
 “We hope he might grow out of it in late adolescence – maybe 15 years or so.”
Since Dylan was diagnosed Sam and her husband Ian have been fundraising for the Nephrotic Syndrome Trust who carry out research into the illness.

 On March 17, Ian will run the Liverpool Half Marathon to raise awareness of his son’s condition. Sam said: “When we found out we didn’t know any one who had heard of it.”
 For more information visit nstrust.co.uk/pages/home.

Parenting teenagers

Source: static.someecards.com via Mary on Pinterest

Ben Taylor - Listening

A beautiful voice. A beautiful soul.

Ben Taylor website

Silent Sunday - Winter Walking

Winter Walking

The tumble dryer that felled "superwoman"

It was the tumble dryer that did it.
You know when you're going flat out and then something unexpected happens that suddenly overwhelms you? Well for me it was the tumble dryer packing up. On a weekend. When Son1 was away on a very dirty survival weekend in the Lake District.
You could say, well at least it wasn't the washing machine, and you would be right, but still, when you live with two boys and a husband who exercises, a lot, it's still pretty bad. Son2 also likes his clothes soft and cuddly, not stiff and line dried and when you have Asperger Syndrome, this matters a great deal.
You wouldn't think something as every day as a broken tumble drier could spark such a wave of knock-down exhaustion, but it  did.
I've been working pretty much flat out this year with my DysNet job, my Special Needs Jungle doing really well and being involved with the Surrey SEN pathfinder reform. I've been on business trips to Belgium and Sweden and met many new and wonderful people through my work  and I've enjoyed it all. Well, most of it, anyway.
I have been energised, flying. I've even been described a few times, rather amusingly, as "Superwoman."
But I bet superwoman wouldn't have been defeated by a tumble dryer.
Superwoman wouldn't have wailed so loudly that her husband hurriedly offered to take the pile of wet laundry to dry at the launderette.
"We live in Farnham!" I cried in response. They don't have launderettes! When people in Farnham's tumble dryer breaks, they just get a new one!"
He quietly picked up the pile of damp washing and hung it up on airers in the conservatory, flicking it out to release the creases like an expert.
I skulked into my study, checked my email and listened to Joss Stone on Spotify asking "Tell me what we're gonna do now." Well quite.
Well, of course, what I'm going to do, once I've got over my mini melt-down, is ring D&G and book a service call. Though the local people can't come for a few more days.
Problem solved, you might think.
So why do I feel like I've suddenly been run over by a truck? Why is it that a tumble dryer breaking has prompted all the not so good things that have happened in recent weeks to play on my mind?
All of a sudden, exhaustion has knocked me down like a tidal wave. I take a nap and wake up feeling like I haven't been asleep at all. Waking up in the morning feels like it's the middle of the night.

There is a tightness in my chest and eating makes me feel sick. The incredible workload that I was managing well now seems like I'm at the foot of Everest with not a Sherpa in sight.

I'm old enough to know that, in the end, this too shall pass. Maybe with the help of a spa day or a day out, if at all possible.
But it just strikes me as funny that the final straw can be something that you least expect.
And just in case you're wondering, AEG, your A-rated vastly expensive Lavatherm 59800 condenser dryer with heat pump, sucks. Had it four years and it's broken three times already. Considering it cost £500, that's something approaching rubbish.
Just sayin'

Online to real life - friendship made flesh

A couple of years ago, when I first published my books, I got involved in writers' groups. I 'met' some great people and among them, one writer whose books I would have read, whether or not we had connected online. Libby Fischer Hellmann writes the kind of books I read - American, female, detective/police crime novels.

Marcia Muller, Sara Paretsky, Linda Fairstein, Linda Barnes, Laura Lippman, Sue Grafton, Patricia Cornwell (until recently) and even JD Robb and Janet Evanovich, I've read and loved them all.

So, when I came across Libby and her character Georgia Davies, a former Chicago cop turned PI, I was thrilled.

Even better, she has a second protagonist in earlier books, Ellie Foreman, who reminds me so much of Libby herself. Libby is a great writer and I loved her books and, as she's written quite a few, I still have more to come.

Her latest, A Bitter Veil, set in 70s Chicago and revolutionary Iran, is a departure, but the writing is just as stellar and the story engrossing.

Anyway... last week, Libby came to visit as part of her solo trip around the UK. It was so wonderful having her to stay and we visited both Jane Austen's House and Waverley Abbey, neither of which I've been to before, even though they're on my doorstep.

In Libby, I have discovered an older sister who has wisdom, common sense and a side of wickedness that I love. I have always said that when I grow up I want to be Libby Hellmann, and after this visit, I think that even more.

This evening, as I was cooking dinner, I was wishing she was still here. She helped us celebrate our 15th anniversary and as I stepped into the kitchen on the evening of our anniversary party last Saturday and saw her expertly packing away leftover food, she was not just my sister but my (far too young to really be-) mother too. 

Here's a few pics from her visit:

Libby & Jane Austen - I prefer Libby

At Waverley Abbey. Leo is on an invisible lead..

Celebrating 

Find Libby's blog here

Find her books on Amazon.co.uk

Find her books on Amazon.com

So what's wrong with my lunch?

I was told twice this week that I needed to improve my diet and nutrition. 

Once by my new personal trainer and once by my MLD Therapist.

Just had lunch. Really, I don't know what they're talking about.

What?

Silent Sunday - Simply Brothers

Brothers

Silent Sunday - 'nuff said

Ben Taylor's new album coming soon.. steady ladies..

One of my very favourite artists, Ben Taylor has his new record out in a few weeks. It's called Listening.
I'm quite excited about this, and so is my husband who is sick of hearing the same Ben Taylor songs over and over and over....

Here's a sneak preview...REALLY not sure about the glasses though..

My nephew, Dylan's daily fight against his rare disease - please help raise awareness

This is a post to highlight a rare disease that has affected my young nephew, Dylan who lives in North Wales. He was diagnosed with a kidney disease, Nephrotic Syndrome, earlier this year and his mum, my cousin Sam Davies-Abbott, is trying to raise awareness and funds to help find a cure. Here Sam's tells their story. 

**

My young son was a welcome addition to our family making us the average 2.2 family (make that two cats and no dog) along with his big sister.  Life was full of fun and laughter, along with the usual ups and downs.  

Dylan before he was ill

But things changed significantly for us on 15th January of this year when we took our three year old little boy to hospital as his face and body had begun to swell up.  

The A&E doctor tried to fob us off with it being viral, but a response from myself regarding his non-committal diagnosis soon saw us heading down to the children's ward to see a paediatrician. 
That afternoon, we we were shocked to be told that our son had something called Nephrotic Syndrome - WHAT?  Apparently the filtering system of our son's kidneys does not work properly and allows protein to move from his blood to his urine.  This results in the oedema which had prompted us to be concerned.  

For some unknown reason our son's immune system now attacks this filtering system instead of any infection which has triggered it. The kidneys become scarred when they are attacked and the extent of this can be significant.  The cause of NS is unknown and consequently there is no cure for it.

NS is a rare syndrome with only 10,000 sufferers in the UK, with the majority of them being young children.  There are two main types and we desperately hope that our son has the type called Minimal Change, which would hopefully mean that he will grow out of it in early adulthood and suffer no longer term damage to his kidneys.  The other type FSGS results in dialysis and kidney transplants, often within a relatively short period of time. The ultimate cruelty of this syndrome is that in a high percentage of transplants the NS returns to attack the new kidney.

Our son has already relapsed twice and is now classed as a frequent relapser - we are unsure what this means for the severity of the journey that NS will take him on (and us as a family).  
He is currently prescribed high doses of steroid medication to suppress his immune system and stop it from attacking his kidneys.  If he relapses as the dose reduces, or shortly after he finishes taking it, he will be classed as steriod dependent and will have to undergo chemotherapy to try to remedy this dependence.  As toxic as these treatments are (and as horrific as the side effects can be) we are grateful that he continues to respond to them. The alternative is too scary to contemplate...

Dylan while taking strong steroids to fight his illness

Everyday life feels as though we are walking on egg shells waiting for his next relapse.  There is absolutely nothing that we can do to prevent it.  We all follow a salt-free, low-saturated fat diet (much healthier for us and so much tastier!) to try and help his kidneys to work at their optimum level in the hope that future relapses will be less severe for him.  We are slowly learning to enjoy each day that he is well and we are trying not to spend too much time worrying about about tomorrow may bring. 

We have tried to protect our young son from knowing when he has relapsed, explaining increased medications, injections and hospital visits as preventative treatments rather than reactive to NS.  

A few days ago we were discussing a sponsored walk which we have arranged to raise awareness of NS (with monies raised being donated to the Nephrotic Syndrome Trust and research into a cure) when he suddenly turned to me and said, every matter of fact, that "I might be poorly forever Mum".  My heart shattered into a million pieces.... 

My son's name is Dylan and he is three.

You can find Sam's Just Giving page here

And the Nephrotic Syndrome Trust here

Son2 brings a Raspberry Pi to life

Son2's (12) Raspberry Pi has finally arrived. It's a credit card sized motherboard that you can plug various wires into, connect to mouse, keyboard, ethernet and screen.

Then you download some software, install and off you go on your way to learning how to code python for yourself.

So, Son2 (who has Asperger's) asked me to help him set it up. Hmm, I said, maybe you should take it into your computer teacher...

Son2 gave me a disdainful look, suspecting his mother's computing skills might have reached the limit of their usefulness for his nefarious needs...

This morning, he wanders downstairs to my office wearing the same clothes he had on yesterday.

"Did you sleep in those?" I ask.

"I was too tired to get undressed. But come and look what I've done..."

It turns out he decided not to go to bed after all. Instead he'd got up and figured the Raspberry Pi out for himself, downloaded the software, followed some instructions in a magazine and installed it all. 

The child has overtaken the master....

Yes, it's scary..

Why being heartbeat aware can save your life - or your child's

This week is the annual Heart Rhythm Week, aimed at raising awareness for heart rhythm disorders.

This year, it should be even more in people's minds, with the near fatal collapse of footballer Fabrice Muamba and the death of Italian footballer, Piermario Morosini both from cardiac arrest.

These may seem rare, but in the years when I worked for the Heart Rhythm Charity, Arrhythmia Alliance, I can tell you that it's more common than you think.

For Heart Rhythm Week 2012, the charity aims raise awareness among the public of how to recognise the symptoms of a heart rhythm disorder and when they should seek further advice from a healthcare professional.

At least one in four of us will develop a potentially fatal heart rhythm disorder. The most common symptoms are palpitations, feeling faint and shortness of breath. The charity has developed a 'Your Heart in your Hands Checklist’ to help recognise the symptoms. 

The charity also has a campaign to increase the number of automated external defibrillators (AEDs) in public places. If you saw the distressing scenes of Fabrice Muamba's collapse, you will know that it was only through prompt medical  intervention and the continued use of a defibrillator and CPR that he is alive today to tell the tale. 

I have seen many news reports (and I mean many) of school children collapsing from sudden cardiac arrest. It's not just athletes or at the other end of the scale, the unfit, that are at risk. SCA doesn't care who or what you are or how old you are. 

There are other heart rhythm disorders that are not immediately life threatening in themselves, but can also cause troublesome symptoms such as atrial fibrillation or reflex anoxic seizures. My own younger son had RAS as a toddler which meant he could collapse from an abrupt, but temporary stopping of his heart and breathing. This could happen up to three times a day and it is how I came to be involved with the charity STARS, which is part of Heart Rhythm Week.

We're just now awaiting the results of a 24-hour holter monitor as he has been experiencing dizzy spells and faintness. Because of my knowledge, I was able to convince his paediatrician fairly easily that he needed a cardiology referral. And that, of course, is the key - knowledge.

That's what Arrhythmia Alliance aims to do by its awareness campaign - give people knowledge and empower them to take their heart health into their own hands. It's not something you really want to leave to chance. 

Ask a silly question...

The other day I, somewhat foolishly, asked my husband what he liked the most about me.

I'm not sure why I asked, it was just an idle moment as we were sitting on our bed having a cup of tea. I was playing working on my iPad, he was probably fantasising about playing for Chelsea or something.

"Umm.." he said, thinking hard. "You're... very organised and you get things done."

"Oh," I said, a little surprised. "And what do you like most about your mother?"

"Well," he said, without hesitation. "She's kind and thoughtful and caring..." He trailed off as he saw the look on my face. It's true, by the way, his mother is all of those things. But 'organised'? That's the thing he likes the best about me?

I turned to face him. "So, your mother is kind and caring and thoughtful. And I'm 'organised'."

I could see from my husband's expression that it was slowly dawning on him he'd fallen into a hidden trap where lurked snakes and spiders and nasty things, all put in there by his, somewhat miffed, wife.

"Er... er.. that's not all I like about you, obviously..." he stuttered, wondering how he got into this mess.

In walks Son1 (14).

"Son1," I say. "What do you like most about me?"

"Well," he said, without hesitation. "You're kind and thoughtful and you do lots of stuff for me."

"Dad says that about Grandma," I said. "He said that he liked that I was 'organised'. I think he likes Grandma more than he likes me."

Son1 looks at his Dad and ruefully shakes his head at his father's schoolboy mistake. "That's not very nice. But then, Mum, wouldn't you like me to like you more than I like my wife?"

I considered this for a moment. "I suppose so, yes."

Then Son1 smirks. "At least, that's what I'd tell you."

One of these males has Asperger Syndrome. Right now, I'm not sure it's Son1.

Son2, The Boy Jedi

We've just rediscovered this little fella. My husband sculpted him a few years ago - it's a figure of Son2 with a light sabre in hand.

Needless to say, Son2 was delighted at his rendering as The Boy Jedi as he was Star Wars mad at the time. He's considerably bigger than this now and paints figures himself. What do you think?

Silent Sunday- Rain in the lane

A Healthy Lunch. Kinda.

I'm trying to eat more healthily but I'm also quite busy.. so this was lunch.
It was nice.. or at least it was after I added some salt...

Broadband Blues? Just Tweet @BTcare

So, I've, just hopefully, got a stable broadband connection back after several months of regular outages and the loss of service every evening at peak times. What finally worked was that I got fed up of speaking to the 'overseas' customer service team and I tweeted @BTCare. Within a short while, they'd sent me a link to an online form and shortly after that a very nice lady from Northern Ireland called me. She is my new favourite person and is the embodiment of what customer service is about.

I've just filled in a form about BT customer service...here are the highlights of my sad, sad story:

Donna and the BT social media team were great - she found the problem, organised an Openreach engineer (a third visit from an engineer since Jan) who then managed to find the problem and fix it. He has made recommendations regarding the replacement of a cable.

The technical support based overseas however have been another story. I'm sure it's not their fault as individuals and I do feel for them, especially as they are unfailingly polite in difficult circumstances.

However it just seems that no one knows what is going on, who's doing what or what to suggest if it isn't in the script. 

I do find it insulting that BT don't care enough to ensure (like the very fabulous First Direct do) that ALL their customer service is UK based for a UK based product. This would be a HUGE marketing plus and provide jobs here, where they are needed. I can't believe no one has the PR expertise to see this - it's a total no-brainer. 

All the 'overseas' people can do (though they are very polite) is uselessly ask if your socket has two screws in the middle (I have been asked this question too many times to count)

Then, when their basic checks reveal nothing and their remote fixes don't work, they put you through to the 'escalation' team, which is probably the poor weary chap sat next to them with a degree in astrophysics, who asks you again to confirm your identity (REALLY? Do you think I haven't done this already to get put through to you?) Then you're asked again if your socket has two screws in the middle. 

One actually asked me to unscrew the socket and use the tester socket. I'm not kidding. Then he suggested I buy ethernet cables and use them to connect all the laptops & computers in the house to my 'wireless' hub and BT would reimburse the cost of the cables. I'm still not kidding and it's a little tricky to do for iPods and phones.

Occasionally, they have tried my patience very sorely. When I told one customer service woman that it was nothing to do with the screws in the socket, she paused then said: So if you could just look at your socket...

We have had several outages and then this latest fault where we would lose any bandwidth in the evening. I knew what was happening - we're at the end of the exchange and at peak times the state of the line meant there was nothing left by the time it got to us. Would anyone 'overseas' listen? No, of course not, after all, I am just a customer, so if I could just check the screws in the socket...

Anyway, I got fed up so I, like I said, tweeted @BTcare. They sent me the link to the Twitter form and within hours Donna called me. She was going to take it over and I wouldn't have to deal with anyone else. Great!

The next day, CS overseas called and when I explained about Donna, they suggested she was a crank call, even though she knew my home phone number AND what she was talking about. I tweeted this to @BTcare who assured me (although I knew) it wasn't a crank call.

Donna called again made some adjustments to the line and organised an engineer visit. Now THIS is what customer service should be. I work from home as a PR and social media manager - I need to be online all day. 

Today the engineer came and was very thorough and now my speed is double what it was - though it's still only a whopping 4MB.

I'm STILL waiting for BT Infinity, which has been delayed three times. There's a box there, it just needs to be connected up and it's much closer to us, though if that cable I talked about isn't replaced the engineer warned it would impact Infinity speeds considerably.

So,  @BTCare team and especially Donna, are great. Fantastic. Bring your CS back to the UK, BT, and you'll be a company that deserves to have the word 'British' in its name.

Silent Sunday Buona Pasqua

Son2's leg pains are a severe vitamin D deficiency!

Son2 (12) has been suffering with leg pains for the past few weeks. He's been limping around, unable to take part in PE and has had a lot of time off school. He's also been very low and irritable for a few months and we had put this down to being part of his Asperger's, but I had him referred back to the paediatrician because I wanted to make sure that we weren't missing some other medical reason.

An initial blood test showed nothing but, some weeks ater, Son2's legs started to hurt. At first, we thought it might be a tactic to avoid school but when the pains got worse, I took him back to the GP.

She checked over the last set of blood tests and realised that the paediatrician had missed some important tests. and so ordered a fresh batch.

Now, Son2 and blood tests do NOT go together well. When he got to the nurse, to be told there was no anaesthetic or any kind, he hopped off the bed and decided she wouldn't be taking any blood from him today, thank you very much.

She instead, made him out a prescription for anaesthetic cream, which we had filled, applied and then waited 45 minutes for it to take effect. 

Armed with a test-distracting "Where's Wally" the blood was duly taken and within three days, we had the answer.

He had about half the level of Vitamin D in his blood that he should have. Severe deficiency can cause irritability, depression, muscle pains and in the very worst cases, rickets. Luckily, it hadn't got that bad.

He's now on a high dose of Vitamin D supplement for three months.

He's not alone in his deficiency either - parents are encouraged to slap Factor 50 on to their children and keep them out of the sun for fear of melanoma and the increase in fears over child safety and the explosion of computer and console gaming means kids are spending more time indoors. And of course, it's been winter, which doesn't help.

In fact, the BBC recently reported:

The chief medical officer for England, Dame Sally Davies, is to contact medical staff about concerns young children and some adults are not getting enough vitamin D.
Government guidelines recommend some groups, including the under-fives, should take a daily supplement. However, recent research found that many parents and health professionals were unaware of the advice.
There has been an increase in childhood rickets over the past 15 years.
According to Dr Benjamin Jacobs, from the Royal National Orthopaedic Hospital, links to heart disease and some cancers are also being investigated. The consultant paediatrician told BBC Breakfast that the hospital saw about one severe case a month of rickets - softening of bones through lack of vitamin D in childhood.
He said: "There are many other children who have less severe problems - muscle weakness, delay in walking, bone pains - and research indicates that in many parts of the country the majority of children have a low level of vitamin D."
The Feeding for Life Foundation report, published in October last year, suggested one in four toddlers in the UK is vitamin D deficient.

The problem with Son2 is that he doesn't like the outdoors much. He doesn't like to be near strangers - he doesn't particularly like being with people he knows either.

He prefers to spend his leisure time in his purple walled, black curtained, disco-balled TechnoLair and attempts to encourage him to go out are usually met with point blank refusal.

The GP, when she looked at Son2's results, said her son was the same so she was going to get him some Vitamin D supplement as well.

I am going to have to try harder not to just let him be in his room, where he's happiest and be tougher on getting him to go out. In fact, I'm just about to send him off to the post box for me on this lovely spring day and I might even go with him as I'm a bit concerned about my own Vitamin D levels. 

So, if you're concerned your own kids might be deficient, it wouldn't hurt to get them checked out, or just up their intake of VitD rich food and supplements. 

Thank goodness summer's around the corner!

Silent Sunday - The Colour of English Spring

Mothers' Day - cards no longer required

Today we'll be celebrating Mothers' day with my in-laws, who are bringing round a meal, ready cooked. I'm looking forward to it very much.
This is the sixth Mothers' Day that I haven't sent a card to my own mother. She passed away after beating, then succumbing to pancreatic cancer at the end of 2006. She was a bright and vivacious woman, intelligent and gregarious. She would have been the first to admit that she wasn't always the perfect mother - but then, are any of us? But she tried her best under sometimes difficult circumstances and that's all you can do.

It's been sixteen years since I sent a Mothers' Day card to my beloved Grandmother, the rock of my young life.   She always said she would never live to see my children and she didn't. I married my husband a year to the day after her death and my mother later took the bouquet to lay where her ashes had been scattered.

Today, I remember them both with a few of my favourite photographs of them. Happy Mothers' Day.

Mum and Gran c 1960

Mum and Gran in the late 40s

Mum and her two grandsons